He couldn't believe his ears
by Veep
Summary: Why did Jack push Sam away? Why did he close himself off from her? The language is present but mild.


The news of Daniel's impending death spread quickly through the tight knit SGC. As Jack shuffled down the hall everyone got out of his way. No one wanted to be on the receiving end of a tirade sure to be released as he dealt with the fact that his best friend was lying in an iso-room dying from radiation poisoning.

Jack reached the doorway and stopped short as he heard a sniffle. He knew Sam was sitting with Daniel and he didn't want to interrupt her, especially if she was crying. He knew she wouldn't want him to see her crying. He also knew his fragile grip on his own sanity might slip at the sight of her red rimmed eyes and runny nose. He leaned against the wall as her words floated out into the hall.

"I don't know why we wait to tell people how we really feel." Jack's chest tightened and his head softly hit the wall behind him, careful to not give away his position.

"I guess I hoped that you always knew." Jack's eyes flew open, his head turned, and his mouth gapped. Did she just say what he thought he heard? He poked his head around the edge of the door and watched her. Her grief was enveloping her. Jack's throat burned. He pushed himself off the wall and stalked away. The halls cleared before him as airmen tried to avoid being seen. 

Jack went straight to his office and slammed the door. How could he have missed it? How long had she been in love with Daniel? How could he have been so stupid as to really believe she could have still been harboring feeling about him? Daniel was a better match for her. Wasn't he? Was Jack the reason she hadn't told Daniel how she really felt? Had he been stopping her from getting the life she deserved?

Jack sank into his chair and grasped his head between his hands. Bile rose in his throat but he swallowed it. Not only did she not love him but he'd also prevented her from finding the love she wanted and deserved. Knowing her, she hadn't said anything to him to prevent hurting Jack. Damn him for wearing his heart on his sleeve. He'd ruined her life. It was his fault that she never told Daniel how she felt. As team leader it was his fault that Daniel was dying, taking away her chance to tell him how she felt. 

Jack only knew one response to this kind of pain. He began the torturous process of shutting himself off from the world, shutting himself away from her. It was less about protecting his heart and more about letting her know she was free, free from him and his dreams.

Sam collected herself as she waited for Jack to return. She, Teal'c, and Jack had agreed to not leave Daniel alone. Jack was supposed to be the next person to come and sit with him so she could get back to the research on the new kind of naquada. Sam didn't mind the extra time with Daniel but she was beginning to wonder what was holding up Jack. She was worried about how this was affecting him. She knew how close he was to Daniel, even if neither of them would admit it. A hand placed on her shoulder startled her out of her reverie. 

"Teal'c."

"I expected to find O'Neill."

"I've been expecting him for a while."

"Then allow me to sit with Daniel Jackson while you get some much needed rest." Sam smiled at Teal'c.

"I think I'll go back to my lab."

"Daniel will need us as he continues to battle and you will need to be rested so you can be a support to him."

"I know you're right, Teal'c. I'll try." Teal'c cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow. "I promise, I'll go lie down for a little while."

"I shall check on you later."

"Thanks." Sam gave him a small peck on the cheek. Teal'c grinned slightly as Sam left the iso-room, glancing back at Daniel only once.

My son will be eight years old soon. He loves to read (he's finished all 5 Harry Potters and is working on Lemony Snicket) and his math skills are great. His handwriting needs a lot of work and his writing skills are inconsistent. He and I have discussed ways he could practice his writing and he suggested finding a pen pal. I've checked several web sites and been unsuccessful in locating another kid who might be interested. If you know of a child who might be interested in exchanging snail mail please email me. We live in the eastern United States and would love to find a kid living far away. 


End file.
